In a show called Reaper, a young man has to collect escaped souls for the devil in order to free his own soul that his parents unknowingly sold before his birth. In said show, the depict the DMV as the earthly connection and passage to hell. I always thought that was funny. But recently, I found out that that is far from the truth.
I've been to the DMV. It's not that bad.
Lab Corp.
The drug testing center of America.
Never go there.
Ever.
If a job ever requires you to get tested, quit right then and there.
It was one of the worst days of my life.
That might be a little dramatic. I mean the worst kind of average day. The kind of day where you spill all over your new shirt or get a nose bleed while talking to the boy you like or flunking a test (all of which have classified as worst average days of my life). Not the kind of day where you mentally fall apart because your life has been abruptly changed for the worse. This day, Lab Corp day was a bad, bad day.
It started with having to cancel plans with a friend. I had a doctors appointment and a drug test. The driving distance would probably cause these small errands to last all day. The first doctors appointment (a simple sports physical) passed uneventfully, followed by lunch with my mom and sisters. An average day.
But then I had the drug test with mean, grumpy polish nurses who spoke too loudly. They yelled at me, making me nervous so of course, I couldn't pee. Not very original, but I just couldn't pee. So, naturally, they yelled at me some more. I couldn't pee still. They were so awful about everything, they grabbed me by my arm multiple times and quite forcefully. I'm not a criminal, I'm not there for any illegal reasons, it was merely an innocent pre-employment drug test.Yet they treated me like I had personally wronged them in some way, like my wrong actions had led me to this place, like I was guilty of something.
There were other people there who were being tested too. They scared me, I'm sorry but it's true. Maybe they were there for the same reasons as me but maybe not. They looked miserable and worn down. Their lips were white and their eyes had circles under them. And they stared. Like, unnervingly.
But then I realized I shouldn't look at them the way I was. Feeling sorry for them and afraid of them. The nurses were doing that to me. It made me feel awful. They didn't know why I was there, they just treated me bad no matter what. They judged me, and that is no one's right. I was judging these people. I came up with their life stories in my head. But truthfully, we were all in the same boat. We were all being yelled at in polish by short, blonde women, We were all peeing into a cup while 5 other people listened at the not fully closed door. It might not seem like a big deal, but those were things i had in common with these people. People I have never met, people I'll probably never speak to or ever see again. But they were people right? God's children. And therefore, they should receive my love. They don't have to earn it or deserve it, they just have it. Do as Jesus does. Jesus saved me before I was even born, he loved me before I was even thought of. As a Christian, I'm doing my best everyday to try and do what Jesus did. I try to go out and love. To heal and help anyone who needs it, to spread God's love to others. I don't usually discuss religion unless I need to. I like to listen to others discuss it though. I spread love, God's love, when I listen to what people have to say, when I'm there for them, when they need someone or even if it's just holding the door open for someone or giving a hug. I do it in the name of God while being anonymous. I want to be a good person, not just a good christian. I believe you can be a good person without being a good christian. I live by the golden rule.

Do onto others as you would have them do onto you.

I had a fall out with a good friend a few weeks ago. It hurt. And I didn't say a lot of things I wanted to say, not because they were bad things, but because I didn't want to hurt him in anymore than he already felt I had. He thinks I hurt him. He hurt me. So I am sorry if I hurt you. I'm sorry things ended the way they did. I'm sorry you said some of the things you said, because it can't be taken back. I forgive you, but now I feel like I know better than I used to. But I'm done being angry. Your words stick with me. They make me sad. But you didn't loose my love. You didn't loose it because you could have never ever earned it. It was just given to you. As it should have been. There is nothing you could do that would cause me to take away that love, I hope you know that. I can't be angry anymore, now I just feel hurt. But where there is love, there is healing and forgiveness. You might not want it or care even, but you have it. Everything that happened that night was awful. But it was human, I don't think it was right, but it happened and it can't be taken back so what's the point in staying mad at you? You are a person, just like me and those people at Lab Corp. Those nurses might have been having a bad day, you might have been having a bad day that night. We are all in he same boat, aren't we? Trying to live and make it through day to day. I didn't like the way the nurses treated me, but so what? I can only learn from that experience. It sounds corny but Jesus loves them so so should I, Jesus lives inside them so I need to treat them as if I were faced right then and there with Jesus himself. Besides, they help me get my job by proving that I'm drug free. They helped me and now they are done being a part of my life. You helped me. But I guess it was you who wanted to be done being apart of my life. I can accept that. If that's what you think is best.

The day I went to Lab Corp was not a good day but it taught me a lot. The night I went to talk with you was not a good night but it taught me a lot. It was one of the worst nights. But it was a test. I hope you know that I'm sorry for whatever I did, but I just don't understand still what caused any of it. What did I do to lose your love?
I am not perfect. But I try to be a person I'd like to know.
I'm glad I knew you.
Bye.


Oh, and Cindy deserves a shout out. I love you too!!!