Oh, but it's long
One Sunday Morning
Oh, one son is gone.
I can see where it's dawning
Over the sea
My father said what I had become
No one should be.
Outside I look lived in
Like bones in a shrine
How am I forgiven?
Oh I'll give it time.
In silence without warning
Holding my brow
In time he thought I'd kill him
But I didn't know how.
I said it's your God I don't believe in
No, your Bible can't be true
Knocked down by the long life
He cried out, I fear what waits for you.
I can hear those bells
Spoken and gone
I feel if I feel well
Now he knows he was wrong.
I am cold for my father
Frozen underground
Jesus I wouldn't bother
He belongs to me now.
Something sad keeps moving
So I wandered around.
I fell in love with the burden
Holding me down.
Bless my mind, I miss
Being told how to live.
What I learned without knowing
How much more I owe
Than I can give.
This is how I tell him
Oh, but it's wrong
One Sunday morning
One son is gone
Wilco
I can't explain how much I will miss you, Ally. I love you so much. I say it a lot, but I mean it more than I can explain. I'm so angry that you are being taken away from me. But I'm happy for you, I'm excited for you, getting to go off and live these new adventures that you deserve. But I'm scared to be left here. Because I don't know if I will be able to handle things as well as you. I'm so scared. I'm going to feel so lost without you. I love you so much, you model who I am more than you realize. It hurts to see you go. But you have earned this, you will be happy, and so that makes a part of me happy. But I'm selfish, and I'll want you here. I know that can't happen. So have fun, please, for me. Enjoy it. I love you.
I can't explain how much I will miss you, Michael, Danny, Rachel, and Tom.
You guys are... I don't even know. I'll miss you like crazy and I already feel lonely and sad without you at school. But like Ally, I'm excited for you. But I want you to come back. I'm not ready for you guys to leave me yet, I've been trying to prepare all summer but it's only made me closer to you. I love you all. So much more than I can say in this blog. And I wish I could articulate it but I can't. Just know that I do care about yo all. You've done so much for me, things I can't repay you for, things I wish I could explain. But I just can't. All I can say is thank you. For everything. For this summer, for the lessons and for your friendship. I experienced a kind of friendship this past year that I had never before. So I really wish the best for all of you in life. Just please, don't forget about me.
Tom. Oh, Tom. Seriously, I better get calls every week. I will be visiting you at least once a month. When you come home, I expect visits. We WILL NOT lose touch. You are one of my best friends. Ever. I mean that. I have told you everything. I can't say that about a lot of people. You are actually probably the only one who knows this much about me. You are such a genuine person, the best kind I will ever meet. Your personality is fun and refreshing, you're original. You are great. You know me inside and out, and I'm going to miss that. I'll miss your advice, your insight, and how I can call you and just talk whenever I need to. I'll miss the feeling I get when I can help you. You make me a better person. You are funny. You are the best. I just need you to know that when you leave, I'm not going to let you slip away. I care about you enough to not let that happen. You've changed my life, and I don't even care if that sounds stupid, but really. You are an amazing person. You are who I go to always. You will be happy. I just know it. You deserve it. You deserve the best. I feel like none of this is doing justice to you. Again, I can't artculate it. But i hope you know how great you are. Because this is the kind of thing that doesn't come around often. I feel like you are so epic, you're going to do great things. I have no doubt in my mind. This sounds so bad, but really words fail to describe the kind of person you are. Other people are going to see that though. In college, people will notice, you will have so many friends. And people are going to appreciate you. I can't wait to hear more of your stories. I am proud to call you my friend.
But I'm terrified of losing you. I lose a lot of things. You know the stories. And it's been a while since I cared about some enough to actually be this afraid of losing them. I know Ally and I will be fine, she is my sister, we will always be there for each other. You and I say we will be, but it scares me that that might not be the case always. Everyone has people who let them down, I know I'm not the only stupid teenage girl who feels this way, but that doesn't mean my fears aren't real or justififiesd. So, please, stick with me!!!!!
Being back at school, I'm seeing a lot of people. But I feel lonelier than before. The dates are approaching when I really do have to watch you guys go. I did so many things just fine before I knew all of you. But I'm a lot different now. And now I feel like I can't do anything without thinking of you all leaving, and how I'm staying here. Ahg. I'm listening to a lot of Wilco lately too so that probably doesn't help.
Don't forget about me.
Seriously.
No comments:
Post a Comment