Why do people have families? People fall in love and get married. They procreate, but why? To have more mouths to feed? To spend thousands upon thousdands of dollars that they could otherwise use for materialistic things? Or is it because its a sacred bond that ties two people together when they create a valuable life all on their own. This child (or children) is their legacy, not just in blood or name, but in values, right? Thats why people do it, to have the wonderful experience of raising a human being into adulthood, teaching them the ways of the world and passing on generations of experience, right? To populate the earth...? Well that shouldn't be the case. What is normal in a family? What makes a family disfunctional or functional? Why do some families have that great bond, they are so close to each other and others are distant and continueously hurt each other? Why can't we all have the perfect balance like in Pride and Prejudice? Or in Everybody Loves Raymond? Or do we already have that, we just fail to see it? Growing up and visiting friends' houses, I have seen a lot of different families. Some I actually envy. But whose to say any family is better than another, or whats right and whats wrong when raising kids? You can only know what you want, and maybe, just maybe one day you will find one person who feels and wants the same as you do. Some one to balance you out, and someone who will project all good things onto a family of your own. We can only hope to be that lucky. But when it comes right down to it, everyone has difficulties when it comes to family. I'm talking blood related family here. No matter how wonderfully close and respectful and appreciative a family may seem, there is always something that caused them to be that way. And the same goes for the opposite; the families who seem a bit too disfunctional, abusive, or even just indifferent towards each other all have something that causes them to have become that way. I admire the families, meshed of great people, the kind of people you wish you could be, who take the worst things thrown at them and turn it into a strong bond that will forever hold them together no matter what the future holds. If you have ever wached the shoe Joan Of Arcadia, you know what I mean. If not please please watch this clip,its a show about a girl who everyone thinks is crazy because she 'sees' god. But really, God does appear to her. Her brother got in a car crash and is now in a wheel chair. The dad has depression problems and is an athiest. But they are so close, agaisnt everything, they love each other and its the best show ever made. Watch it. Its off air and only had 2 seasons, but still.
So yes. Don't we all wish we could take our flaws, or problems and tragedies and turn them into blessings? I do, I'll admitt that I don't always do that, even if I want to, but I try, and often times I fail. Maybe I go about it the wrong way, but is there a right way? Is there a correct way for a family to act? All I can ask of my parents is to support me in what I do, give me food and shelter and a loving environment. Also, that they give me a reason to someday want a familyof my own. But when bad things happen to good people, thats a little too much to ask for all the time. People do one of two things in tough times, they close off from each other, they blame each other and never get anywhere. Or they connect somehow, in a way that doesn't really make it ok, it just makes the difficulties easier. I can't change what my family is; we are a mix quite definitely. We act both ways at different times, and maybe I'm selfish or ungreatful, but I wish we could turn things to our advantage easier. I wish God would come to me in the form of a punk skater kid and tell me to by a lamp from a garage sale which would create a chain of events that makes everyone around me find hope and comfort in each other. But I don't think that will happen, I'm not in a tv show. But why can't I be more like Joan? More tolerant of my differences with the rest of my family? Why can't I be more hopeful, I like to consider myself a selfless person, but there has to be more I can do, if not for my immediate family, then maybe at least for others. Why can't I help others struggling with their family's way of coping in the face of trouble step aside and see a lighter version of the problem? Why, why, WHY?! Because I'm not trying hard enough. Plain and simple. So try harder. I, Joan of Algonquin will do my best to complete the task at hand, my mission not only relating to my faith, but also to my obligation as a person to help others as well as myself. I'm not a saint, but I'm not worthless, I can help in my own way. Even if that just means eventually having good natured children that I can release into the world in the far and distant future. Thats why I think we should have families. Not to make ourselves any less lonely, or becuase its just the next step in your life. But because you have a belief, you have faith strong enough that it led you to do what is right throughout your whole life, it brought you into positions where you can really help another person, and now you can instill that into someone of your own blood, someone that you can fully love without any conditions, you can give that child a good home, love, and morals that will guide them to help others. And I can only hope that I'll have the coping mechanisms of a saint, that I may use any misfortune as an opportunity to relieve sorrow from others and to bring my own future family closer, because family is a sacred bond, it should be a bond that ties you together forever. Its the marking of real love, its the greatest gift you can give to someone, but it comes with a challenge. A challenge that we need God to help overcome, a challenge God wants us to overcome, thats why we can have families in the first place. So lets all, channel our inner Joans.
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